


Cosmia

by perihadion



Series: Sanctuary [4]
Category: The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Long-Distance Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:26:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22611736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perihadion/pseuds/perihadion
Summary: Din pays Omera a visit on Sorgan.
Relationships: The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)/Omera (Star Wars)
Series: Sanctuary [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1586530
Comments: 15
Kudos: 77





	Cosmia

Although he always resolved not to Din still returned to Omera from time to time. She was never surprised to see him, nor did she ever seem to be expecting him. She just seemed to know that he needed something from her that nobody else could give, and she always seemed prepared to give it.

It was Omera, as they walked in the woods one golden afternoon, who had finally asked the question nobody else would: “Why don’t you name your son?” He had no answer for her and too many answers: because he was the only child Din would ever have and so ‘the Child’ sufficed, because names were not often used among Mandalorians, because Din was afraid to name that which he could not keep. There were so many reasons and none he had the heart to admit. But Omera seemed not to expect a reply, seemed to have asked merely to prompt some self-reflection on his part.

“I know you feel bad about coming,” she said to him, as they sat together in the heart of the forest. Sunlight filtered in through the canopy, making her seem to glow in his eyes. He wished more than anything that he could remove his helmet and kiss her, but he would never do that.

“I don’t know why I keep coming back,” he said. “It’s unfair to you, but —”

She smiled. “Don’t feel bad,” she said. “I like it when you come.”

“I wonder,” he said, watching a small jewelled insect as it hovered by her. “If I didn’t keep coming back, would you —?” He struggled to put what he was asking into words: was he keeping her transfixed in a moment, hovering around him like a dragonfly, preventing her from finding a husband? “Am I holding you back?” he finished at last.

She looked at her hands, which were folded in her lap. “Maybe,” she said. “But I don’t mind.”

They lapsed into silence after that. Din wondered how it might be between them if he were free to do as she had once asked and stay with her. If there were no question of him renouncing his vow, if he could be washed of his many sins, would he be able to live here and farm krill and go to bed with her every night? Would the quietness and smallness of the life be worth it, if it meant waking up in her arms, feeling her breath on his skin, seeing her in golden sunlight every day?

“I think I know why you come back,” Omera said after a while. He tilted his head, she smiled at him but it seemed to mask a deep well of sadness inside her. “I think you come here because it helps you remember the type of life you might have had if things had been different. The type of person you might have become.”

Din bowed his head; he felt that he might start crying. _Yes_ , he thought. _That’s it_.

“But,” Omera continued to herself, “if you had been that man, even if we had met, I don’t know if we would have fallen in love.” She took a long shuddering breath. “Maybe it only works because it’s a half-thing. Because we can never have all of each other.”

Maybe that was it, maybe it was in the yearning that their feelings for each other were forged. He knew that he would keep returning to her for these small moments — like recurring dreams — they were able to steal together. It was worth it, even though it hurt beyond words. Maybe that was what she had meant, that she didn’t mind being held back.

He realised he would keep coming back to her for the rest of his life, and that one day the time would come when she would wait for him and he would never come — and she couldn’t know that he never would, because he had returned to the stars. He hoped that his soul could perturb the _manda_ and send some vibration through the universe that she would sense — so that she could know.

*

There was a meteor shower that night, shooting the sky through with silver threads which lasted just a moment but would live forever in Din’s memory. Winta screamed and giggled, and the Child watched with wide-eyed wonder. It struck Din as almost strange that the Child, who had so many mysterious powers of his own, and had watched the stars streak past the viewport as they stepped into hyperspace, could be so absorbed — except that he also felt it, this strange reverence at the sight of the glittering sky.

“My mother once told me,” Omera said quietly, “that shooting stars are the souls of people who die far from home returning to say farewell to their loved ones before they go.”

Din felt as if she had pierced his heart, and closed his eyes. He reached out for her, pulling her in to press the forehead of his helmet against hers.

 _I'll come back to you_ , he thought.

“I know,” she said.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [twitter](http://twitter.com/theoceanblooms) or [tumblr](http://spectroscopes.tumblr.com)! If you really liked this fic, it would be lovely if you could [reblog](https://www.tumblr.com/reblog/190719108844/6Ofp2SSH) on tumblr.


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